How many times have you heard “I can’t is a victim mindset”? How many times have you heard that then said in your head something along the lines of “Yeah, that’s true but…” Notice how you created a reason for why you can’t. You created a stop sign out of thin air; You just stopped yourself from experiencing the what if.
What if I had applied for that job that I’m not qualified for? What if I had asked that person out to coffee? What if I had asked my boss for a raise? You get the point.
The possibilities are endless…
If you’ve made it this far, congratulations! You either have nothing to do or you’re interested in where this is going. I want you to ask yourself one final question; Don’t answer right away, really sit with it before you move forward. Why do we…..
05/22/26
I started writing this post about 4 months ago… A lot has changed from then to now. To say that I had a change in perspective would be an understatement.
I learned more about my partner, my family, my coworkers and mostly about myself. I learned how much I can push myself, how much grit I have, how resilient I truly am. What I didn’t learn until about 3 weeks ago was the impact this was having on me and my closest humans. Impact on my physical and mental health, my partner, my family, my own business, my decisions making.
I sacrificed so much, for what… For a title? For approval? To prove that I could do it? All under the illusion that it will lead to something bigger… That working until my words start to jumble together, or I am repeating myself, or even I am forgetting what I have to do, disassociating at the dinner table. Everything started to become more and more monotonous. My reward for all this hard work? A paycheck… Sure I learned some lessons that only being at the helm would teach you… But again, was it worth it? No. Do I regret it? Yes.
I could have learned just like everyone else does, the school of hard knocks. If you’re going to be dumb you gotta be tough.
I really started to see the impact of this about 5 months ago, I was still under the guise of this is the way. Hard work, negotiating like this, or speaking like that, all must be in a certain way cause that was the right way.
Over time of working in my field which gives me direct access to other business owners with their own successful businesses along with building my business I learned from them… Another way… An easier way, an honest way, a way that lets you sleep at night, a human way. It dawned on me… Why the fuck am I trying to fit a square peg in the round hole? This is not who I am AND this is not the only way. I knew in my heart that this was not right, this was not just how businesses run…
Sure, we all want money…. But at what cost? And is the pain going to be worth it? Sure, might be… But if it causes others pain… Then would your answer be the same?
So back to how I got here four months later, trying to complete this post.
I started writing this with the intention of writing this great motivational piece on saying I can’t and how that is a limiting belief and your mind is just going to follow that, and your body will follow you down that whole rabbit hole… which I still 100% believe is absolutely true. But I read through what I wrote and I said, “Shit, if only I would have said I can’t more often. Maybe I wouldn’t be in this situation. I should have just said no.”
Now you might ask why the hell would I say no or I can’t to my boss when I’m trying to move up… Few reasons… First, I was building something bigger… Much bigger… I realized that was the case when I shared some of thoughts of the future and where I would like my life to head and all I received was pushback and basically a “You’re too young to understand” or the “Yeah, that is what you say now but it’ll change”
The feeling you get when someone you looked up is actively putting you down… It can be extremely discouraging but that depends on your mindset. It can be the spat in the face that pisses you off just enough to make a change. I felt my heart drop to my stomach, it actually caused a physical pain in my chest, my eyes welled up, thankfully it was a phone call.
I guess I cared because it was all I was exposed to at the point in my life. I grew up working class, we always had what we needed but no extra, a bit later in my adolescence my family was doing better. Dad leased me a kick ass Camaro with the reasoning that I might not ever be able to buy a nice car so at least my son will be able to say he had a muscle car. I will be forever grateful for that. Tangent… Back on track…
I thought this was how leadership was supposed to be.
Update 9/23/26
So here I am again not writing in a while… I want to do better, the discipline is just not there, the energy is not there… Last night I bummed out… Didn’t do a damn thing… I feel that I’m working for nothing… Just barely getting by… So much debt… I want to start a business… People look at me and don’t take me seriously… I don’t know why, before I even open my mouth they don’t take me seriously…. I need to write in here and in my personal journal…
At this point I’m just posting this to say its posted… It’ll get better over time, failure is a learning opportunity.
keep your head up
– thehumanconnection
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